Socks, Sandals and Cherry Bombes

and loving the here and now

I am wearing socks with sandals right now. The sandals have thick leather straps the colour of milk chocolate that criss-cross over my feet. Under the straps are soft wool socks in pale charcoal. The sandals are special, but they hurt my bare feet. So here I am, cruising through the house and beyond looking like a European grandfather. But I like it. My husband says it’s a soxy look. 

It’s a good feeling to embrace who you are, right now. 

I thought about this notion while sitting in the audience at the Cherry Bombe Jubilee last weekend in New York. I was sitting with Dana, a friend I met while working at a cookbook store in London when we were in our late 20’s. Dana walked into the store looking like an early 2000 version of Emily in Paris. She is petite, I am tall. She had a tiny dog named April on the end of a Hermès leash. I drove a squeaky bicycle. We hit it off. Lots has happened since then - marriages, babies, moves and pivots - but much has stayed the same: ingredients, stories, friendship, people and words ignite us. So there we were, twenty years later, soaking up the panels, readings and discussions around women in food.

Spring was in the air - in the cherry blossoms stretching from vases throughout the venue, in the energy of the participants, in the red sequin fascinator in the shape of a cherry on the head of the woman in front of us, in the red lacquered cherry knuckle rings I found at a pop-up shop in Soho the day before.

Together we sat and listened to Jenny Nguyen tell us about The Sports Bra, a bar she opened in Portland, Oregon that broadcasts only women’s sports. (The Sports Bra! best name.) And Paris based food writer Rebekah Peppler sharing the story of her new book Le Sud, and the sub story of finding surprise love in Paris. And Ruth Reichl, former editor of Gourmet Magazine and former restaurant reviewer for the New York Times, talking to food writer and YouTuber Claire Saffitz about her latest work of fiction, The Paris Novel. Reichl says it was a thrill to write that book, to travel to Paris of the 1980’s everyday from her home office in Upstate New York. The Paris she remembers from her first visit at age 23.

Later we listened to a panel of three icons of the food world - Dr. Jessica B. Harris (culinary historian, professor and author), Madhur Jaffrey (cookbook author, actor and television host) and Grace Young (activist, food historian and cookbook author). A septuagenarian, nonagenarian and a sexagenarian, respectively. 

It was Madhur Jaffrey’s words that struck me the most. We have a cookbook of Jaffrey’s first published in 1982. It is dog-eared and turmeric stained, and opens easily to a splashed recipe for chicken marinated in yogurt, green chillis, garam masala, onion, garlic and lime. Jaffrey, originally from Delhi, was living in England at the time working as an actor, a cooking show host on British television and writing cookbooks. She is smiling on the cover of our cookbook and holding a bag of groceries, her dark hair long and feathered. The book doesn’t have many pictures, it get’s right to the point, just like Jaffrey did last Saturday in New York. When asked what was on her bucket list in life, the 91 year-old replied, “I don’t have one. I thought I was going to die several times before, so I’ve already visited Peru to see where potatoes were first cultivated. I’ve already taken a trip up the Amazon. I feel totally contented.” When she was asked to share a moment in life she will never forget, I assumed it would have been her role on the remake of Sex in the City, or alongside Uma Thurman and Meryl Streep in the movie Prime, or penning over 30 cookbooks. “Being present at the birth of my grandchild is something I will never forget,” she said, hands clasped in front of her. “The baby slipped out so tenderly, and I held him in my hands, so wet and full of life.”

I’ve attended this event several times over the years¹, each time it has fuelled me with inspiration and has fed my podcast. But taking inspiration and turning it into content is nerve wracking: approach a potential guest. Tell them about the podcast. Would they like to come on? Yes? Wonderful. Should I slide into their dm’s? Email? Logistics are awkward when you’re sweating.

Coming back to this event after five years away, I see how the food scene has shifted and pivoted over the years, and how I’ve shifted and pivoted too:

• 2017 - a jumpsuit, the Hemsely sisters, Martha Stewart, Ellen Bennet of Hedley & Bennett, a nervous chat with Ellen

• 2018 - uncomfortable shoes, Julia Turshen, Ruth Rogers, Nigella Lawson, Toronto restauranteur Jen Agg on sexism in the kitchen, a nervous chat with Julia

• 2019 - overalls and a silk top, Dorie Greenspan, Priya Krishna, Joy the Baker, a day with Eshun, made friends with strangers

• 2024 - jeans, a white blouse, a cherry knuckle ring, a day full of varied cultures, skills, wisdom and backgrounds, good conversations with strangers, a great day with a friend

I will feed off the event, but not in the same, hungry way. Stories are everywhere, I can see that now. I don’t have to fly to New York to find them. This knowledge means I could sit back, soak it up, listen and learn. Phew. 

At the end of the conversation with the icons, moderator Kerry Diamond asked Madhur Jaffrey what advice she would give the many Gen Z’s in the audience. Once Jaffrey understood what a Gen Z was, the 91 year-old replied, “I would tell them to have lots of sex. And enjoy food.” When Dr. Jessica B. Harris and Grace Young were asked the same question, they quickly replied, “I’d say what she said.”

I’m sure I’ll feed off that response for at least a year. In this soxy look.

1. Girl Crushes - April, 2017